Posts Tagged ‘shopping’


In awkward, childfree, heh on October 2, 2013 at 3:53 pm

oh wow! has it really been nearly a year since i’ve blogged here? what can i say – things have been good. but upon grocery shopping last night, i was reminded again why i don’t want to have kids.

i know what you’re thinking.

but it wasn’t kids screaming in the aisle because their mom didn’t buy the cookies they wanted. and it wasn’t a kid pushing around a mini ‘shopper in training’ buggy, ramming everyone’s ankles. no, it was even better than that.

this girl was around 10 or 11, shopping with her mom and little sister. she was quite obviously disinterested and far too cool to be out running errands with her family. i usually ignore these kinds of families, but i noticed this girl right off the bat. i thought maybe she just had unfortunate features, until i realised she was doing duckface. like full on. on purpose. except she wasn’t in her bathroom and she wasn’t busy taking selfies.

ok, so you’re probably thinking, ‘oh, come on, bootsy. give the girl with the bad lip luck a break.’

but i know she was putting it on because she stopped doing it for a few minutes while she thought no one was looking.

and here’s where it comes back to the who kids/no kids issue:

kids do dumb stuff all the time, and as a parent you just basically have to put up with it and let them figure out for themselves if it defines them or not. but how do you deal with duckface? and not occasional, ruining a family picture here and there kind of duckface, but persistent, long-lasting, wearing through thick and thin duckface? seriously. come on.

miniature shopping carts.

In babies in adult places, childfree on October 12, 2011 at 6:27 pm

they’ve got to go.

look. i enjoyed playing store as much as the next kid on the block. at home. the furniture was the shelves, the coffee table was the check-out and the laundry basket was the shopping cart. and that’s where the delusion ended.

maybe it seemed like a good idea to somebody at some point to make miniature shopping carts to keep kids amused at the store. i’ve got a better idea. keep the kids at home. or, stick their little legs under the handle and buckle them into the seat of the big shopping cart with the non-safety safety belt.

because the last thing anyone wants to do after work is have a real life game of knee on shopping cart bumper cars in an overcrowded shop.

isn’t she precious.

In childfree, heh on August 31, 2011 at 4:41 am

jc penny tshirt

‘i’m too pretty to do homework so my brother has to do it for me.’

really, jc penny? while i have to say this could be somewhat funny in an ironic kind of way, i doubt that the 7-16 crowd is going to take it that way (can you really lump all those ages in together? that’s quite a spread!). oh, and by the way, jcpenny has a whole load of other cute ts for back to school time. these include mantras such as, ‘i ♥ bling’, ‘totally FABulous’, and my personal fave, ‘btw ur like totally my bff’. this one’s made all the better by the description that goes along with it: ‘your little gal knows what it means to be a great friend, and she’ll show her love for her bff in this girlified tee. guh.

so you’re telling me that this is the kind of girl you want to be raising?  look. it’s time for some serious smartening up here, ffs. i’m all for kids having fun but teaching them that they’re too pretty to have to do menial tasks? no. i’m extra sorry for teachers this year.

*footnote: there’s been quite an uproar about this homework t. while they’re still selling it, they’ve had to change what appears on their website. even if they discontinue the shirt, the extras are going to end up somewhere (tjmax?) hmmm. nothing like controversial little girls’ clothes.

moms gone wild.

In babies in adult places, childfree, heh, new moms on August 8, 2011 at 4:59 am

we’ve all been there – we’ve got a friend who has a baby and suddenly they seem completely irrational about, well, everything. you try to talk to them about it but of course you’d never be able to understand until you have a baby of your own one day…

i have to thank my friend ian for sharing this post with me. my jaw dropped when i read it. jen but never jenn wrote, overheard: momma bear gone rabid. now i’ve seen crazy mothers before. i’ve had my share of encounters. but this is the mother of all mothers.

it almost makes me wish it had happened to me.


In childfree, heh on July 1, 2011 at 5:19 am

while the doll in this picture really creeps me out, i have to admit the overall scenario gives me a little sense of joy.

creepy doll makes kid cry


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