Posts Tagged ‘parents’

toddlers are a**holes.

In childfree on September 4, 2015 at 4:31 am


oh, come on. who doesn’t want to read this book? heaven forbid this mother/writer breaks the unspoken rule and lets the real truth about toddlers be known!

it sucks.

In childfree, heh on November 27, 2013 at 6:56 pm

this guy came over yesterday to buy something we had posted online. he was young, engaged, and had a kid. we just met this guy and one of the first things he said was, ‘i have a kid. i’m not going to lie. it sucks.”

well, straight from the donkey’s mouth.

33 reasons we can’t be friends.

In childfree, heh, lessons learned on November 15, 2013 at 5:40 pm

i came across this article on scary mommy (guess where i found it? where else. thanks again, facebook). and while i normally ignore posts like this, for whatever reason i opened it. maybe i opened it because i was hoping that there was some redeeming reason that would explain why it’s possibly ok for moms to be chronically late for every single thing they ever plan. maybe i was hoping for some reason that would make me feel ok about letting it slide now and then when my friend with a toddler blows off our plans for the 10th time in a row.

alas, that didn’t happen. all i found was a list of shitty excuses that moms like to dole out time and again.

i’d like to know – does anyone out there have success meeting up with friends who have kids? because i never have. and that’s why i don’t have any.

three showers too many.

In awkward, childfree, heh, new moms on October 30, 2013 at 4:06 am

i received the following email from a reader:

I’m married for 6 years, my wife and I have been together for 10 and one of the things that brought us together was the fact that we definitely do not want children and in fact go out of our way to avoid them. Your readers, I’m sure, are of the same mind as you and I so I won’t go into the specifics of exactly what makes the little buggers so loathsome.

My younger brother and his wife are about to have their first sometime in January, I think. These two are outwardly very nice and successful people, but they are very sheltered. His wife grew up wanting for nothing, and my father (who’s divorced from my mother) spoils them rotten. They have an apartment in Manhattan they couldn’t possibly afford on their own. So the arrival of their baby was, of course, greeted as nothing short of a minor miracle between the two families.

As the curmudgeonly oldest son, I’ve dealt with the family and society’s consequences of choosing to be child-free, and my wife and I are secure in our choices and recognize the good and the bad. However, we never really expected to have someone else’s child impact us as now we’re all but ignored by our family, who are all in on this thing, so much so that the mother is having three separate baby showers in two months, in three different states. Needless to say, I’ll choose one to attend and leave as early as I can.

first of all, my condolences. really. good luck. i hope you don’t have to play (or even witness) a rousing game of ‘what’s in the diaper?

second, congratulations on finding a quality lady. let me assure you, we’re few and far between…

as a proud auntie, let me promise you that the fun is just beginning with the showers. do you live near the elated couple? just wait until the babysitting requests roll in. or the birthday party invitations. or the christmas cards or the stories of baby’s first haircut, baby’s first steps, baby’s first potty… and wait’ll they offer you a chance to hold the little miracle; heaven help you if you decline!

i know the pain of being ignored in favour of the siblings with kids. they’re more fun at holidays, on the weekends, apparently all of the time. my siblings often get together for playdates and don’t even consider inviting me (it’s a mixed blessing). but it is easy to feel a little left out of the family now and then. most of the time, though, i’m thankful for the reprieve.

good luck, my friend. if nothing else, this experience will help you enjoy your sound life choices that much more…

question for you.

In childfree on October 8, 2013 at 4:27 am

ok, it’s honesty hour up in here.

so do you judge women who have several (more than 2 or 3) kids? because i kind of do.

i don’t know why… maybe it’s because of articles like this that hint that only less educated women are having larger families these days. or maybe it’s because for whatever reason, i kind of feel like they must have nothing else going on for them so they might as well keep busy somehow…

why bring this up, you ask? well, because i hate being judged for not having kids. and so i don’t want to be just as bad for judging those who have an excess of them.


In childfree, manners, new moms on October 7, 2013 at 5:00 am

flying has its problems. they haven’t exactly figured out the whole system yet. but there’s one thing we can all agree on – it sucks when you get bumped from an overbooked flight. it really does. especially when it’s on the final leg of a long trip.

parents get bumped from flightthat’s why this story from CBC  news in Canada really irked me.

this couple left their kids with their grandparents while they jetted off to an out-of-town wedding. but coming home, they found the husband didn’t have a seat on the plane. they weren’t the only ones who got bumped from their seats.

why do parents always have to pull the parent trump card? we all have lives. and responsibilities. and people/things/pets to get home to. parents’ needs are not more important to the needs of other passengers.

it seems to me the focus of this story is wrong. it’s not about parents not getting home to their kids. it’s about the problem of airlines overbooking their flights  as a regular practice. so hey – you people with kids: it’s not personal when something happens to you. we all have challenges. deal with it.

bathroom dance.

In babies in adult places, childfree, heh, manners on October 6, 2013 at 8:09 am

one of my favourite things about big events and celebrations:

the bathroom lineups. i’ve met some pretty interesting people and had some fascinating conversations in them.

one of my least favourite things about bathroom lineups:

families who all go in together.

i know, if they all went in individually they’d probably take twice as long. but here i was standing in line thinking it wouldn’t be that bad. there was one man in front of me. i can deal with that. except that as soon as the bathroom was available his wife and 3 kids plus another baby swooped in from nowhere.

let me add that up for you.

2 adults + 3 kids + 1 baby = 6 people!

the kids i can understand – they were toddlers, too young to stand in line on their own. but then i heard her say, ‘i’ll just change the baby on the floor in there…’ that’s just gross.

don’t be tacky.

In about me, childfree, manners, new moms on October 3, 2013 at 5:30 pm

i just saw a horrifying picture documenting a friend’s event on facebook and i realised something important – i never want to become that mom who goes to parties and brings her hors d’oeuvres in a tupperware serving container with a snap-on lid. there’s no reason that women have to cross the line from classy to practical in such a tacky way. every gathering of friends and loved ones (or, for that matter, the people you don’t care much for but maybe shouldn’t give up entirely trying to impress) deserves proper dishes – serving dishes included. don’t throw your respect for your friends out the window for the sake of convenience.

tacky tupperware


In awkward, childfree, heh on October 2, 2013 at 3:53 pm

oh wow! has it really been nearly a year since i’ve blogged here? what can i say – things have been good. but upon grocery shopping last night, i was reminded again why i don’t want to have kids.

i know what you’re thinking.

but it wasn’t kids screaming in the aisle because their mom didn’t buy the cookies they wanted. and it wasn’t a kid pushing around a mini ‘shopper in training’ buggy, ramming everyone’s ankles. no, it was even better than that.

this girl was around 10 or 11, shopping with her mom and little sister. she was quite obviously disinterested and far too cool to be out running errands with her family. i usually ignore these kinds of families, but i noticed this girl right off the bat. i thought maybe she just had unfortunate features, until i realised she was doing duckface. like full on. on purpose. except she wasn’t in her bathroom and she wasn’t busy taking selfies.

ok, so you’re probably thinking, ‘oh, come on, bootsy. give the girl with the bad lip luck a break.’

but i know she was putting it on because she stopped doing it for a few minutes while she thought no one was looking.

and here’s where it comes back to the who kids/no kids issue:

kids do dumb stuff all the time, and as a parent you just basically have to put up with it and let them figure out for themselves if it defines them or not. but how do you deal with duckface? and not occasional, ruining a family picture here and there kind of duckface, but persistent, long-lasting, wearing through thick and thin duckface? seriously. come on.

use your inside voice.

In awkward, babies in adult places, new moms on November 28, 2012 at 5:36 am

why is it that parents (especially the new ones) always talk about 50 decibels louder than is appropriate for the environment. it borders on some kind of manic display to convince everyone around that your baby is the cutest and that this is the best decision you’ve ever made in your life and oh, you’re just oh so happy that you’ve finally discovered what real love is…

good. you’re talking to your baby. but you don’t need to talk so loudly! babies have very sensitive ears. as do some of the rest of us.

sure, it’s a pretty one-sided conversation. but you can’t be so strapped for things to say that you need to exclaim about how wet your baby’s adorable onesie is, or how full its diaper is. learn what’s appropriate in a coffee shop, ffs.

just keep it down. that’s all.



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