Posts Tagged ‘no kids’

so now you want a perfect response?

In childfree on August 24, 2015 at 5:57 am


photo courtesy of buzzfeed: 14 celebrities who don't necessarily want kids

i’ll be honest. i love the fact that the media are getting in on the childfree discussion. however, take, for example, this article, 12 women who have the best response to society’s biggest expectation. it’s so cute how they pretend to understand and try to portray the childfree-friendly side of things, but i worry that they’re contributing to the whole us-them paradigm. the whole point of the blogging about being childfree thing is to emphasize the fact that it is what it is. no excuses needed. no reasons need to be given. no justifying the choices.

and then these articles come along that demand that childfree women have the most articulate, or humourous, or clever response at the ready. i say enough with the relentless expectations. no kids, no explanation. it is what it is.

and as if that isn’t bad enough, people like jennifer anniston takes us steps backwards with the argument that some of us are ‘still mothering’ even if it’s just a or a dog or cat or someone else’s kid. jennifer, some of us do not mother at all. and that is fine with us.

incessantly screaming neighbours.

In awkward, childfree, heh, lessons learned, manners on September 29, 2014 at 6:35 am

this cbc article showed up in my google alerts last week. you may have read it. in case you haven’t, let me summarize the situation for you:

  • neighbours are less than impressed about noisy kids in neighbourhood.
  • neighbours write anonymous letter asking parents to have them limit outdoor screaming time.
  • parents deeply offended, public outrage ensues.
Parents of child with ADHD get anonymous letter about 'incessant screaming'

cbc: Parents of child with ADHD get anonymous letter about ‘incessant screaming’

there are so many things wrong about this story and not a single one has anything to do with the letter writer.

  1. the mother can’t believe that the letter writer wouldn’t just come and talk to her in person. ha. i can believe it. could you imagine the wrath she would bring down on this anonymous letter if she knew who it was? the mother tried to track them down by knocking on every door in the neighbourhood ffs! no, mothers like this are best treated with a great deal of distance.
  2. is it too much for a homeowner to expect to be able to enjoy their property in peace? i know, it can’t be quiet all of the time. but how about being able to enjoy a space the majority of the time? i have no doubt they were over the moon when the school year started up again.
  3. enough with the playing up adhd for sympathy. i know i risk taking a lot of heat for this one but come on. your kids are hyper because you probably feed them too much crap food and everyone around you is supposed to suck it up and be sympathetic to your situation?
  4. this line: ‘she has used the letter to remind her kids to be respectful of their neighbours, and as an example of how not to deal with a problem.’ at first i read it incorrectly. i thought that ‘being respectful of their neighbours’ meant that the mother would encourage her children to play more quietly. ha nope. i guess these children have learned a valuable life lesson: if you have something to say, you’d better bring it right to the person’s face. three cheers for fisticuffs.

judging by the public outcry of of support for these parents, i’ve reconsidered writing a letter of my own to my noisy neighbours just yet…

places babies don’t belong.

In awkward, babies in adult places, childfree, manners, new moms on October 4, 2013 at 3:08 am

  • workshops
  • pubs
  • work
  • my house
  • dinner dates
  • liquor stores
  • anywhere around where i am
  • living in condominiums
  • the gym
  • public swimming pools
  • counters
  • restaurant tabletops
  • luggage carousels
  • grocery store checkout belts
  • airplanes
  • long bus rides
  • wedding ceremonies
  • funerals
  • events where there is a speaker
  • the spa
  • class
  • lectures
  • book club
  • girls night
  • pool halls
  • casinos
  • beach resorts
  • tanning salon
  • hair salon

don’t be tacky.

In about me, childfree, manners, new moms on October 3, 2013 at 5:30 pm

i just saw a horrifying picture documenting a friend’s event on facebook and i realised something important – i never want to become that mom who goes to parties and brings her hors d’oeuvres in a tupperware serving container with a snap-on lid. there’s no reason that women have to cross the line from classy to practical in such a tacky way. every gathering of friends and loved ones (or, for that matter, the people you don’t care much for but maybe shouldn’t give up entirely trying to impress) deserves proper dishes – serving dishes included. don’t throw your respect for your friends out the window for the sake of convenience.

tacky tupperware


In awkward, childfree, heh on October 2, 2013 at 3:53 pm

oh wow! has it really been nearly a year since i’ve blogged here? what can i say – things have been good. but upon grocery shopping last night, i was reminded again why i don’t want to have kids.

i know what you’re thinking.

but it wasn’t kids screaming in the aisle because their mom didn’t buy the cookies they wanted. and it wasn’t a kid pushing around a mini ‘shopper in training’ buggy, ramming everyone’s ankles. no, it was even better than that.

this girl was around 10 or 11, shopping with her mom and little sister. she was quite obviously disinterested and far too cool to be out running errands with her family. i usually ignore these kinds of families, but i noticed this girl right off the bat. i thought maybe she just had unfortunate features, until i realised she was doing duckface. like full on. on purpose. except she wasn’t in her bathroom and she wasn’t busy taking selfies.

ok, so you’re probably thinking, ‘oh, come on, bootsy. give the girl with the bad lip luck a break.’

but i know she was putting it on because she stopped doing it for a few minutes while she thought no one was looking.

and here’s where it comes back to the who kids/no kids issue:

kids do dumb stuff all the time, and as a parent you just basically have to put up with it and let them figure out for themselves if it defines them or not. but how do you deal with duckface? and not occasional, ruining a family picture here and there kind of duckface, but persistent, long-lasting, wearing through thick and thin duckface? seriously. come on.

use your inside voice.

In awkward, babies in adult places, new moms on November 28, 2012 at 5:36 am

why is it that parents (especially the new ones) always talk about 50 decibels louder than is appropriate for the environment. it borders on some kind of manic display to convince everyone around that your baby is the cutest and that this is the best decision you’ve ever made in your life and oh, you’re just oh so happy that you’ve finally discovered what real love is…

good. you’re talking to your baby. but you don’t need to talk so loudly! babies have very sensitive ears. as do some of the rest of us.

sure, it’s a pretty one-sided conversation. but you can’t be so strapped for things to say that you need to exclaim about how wet your baby’s adorable onesie is, or how full its diaper is. learn what’s appropriate in a coffee shop, ffs.

just keep it down. that’s all.


at the spa.

In babies in adult places, childfree on November 8, 2012 at 3:10 pm

i was at the spa this afternoon. maxing. and then it started. someone upstairs brought their toddler in. it was running around and screaming. at the spa.

serious faux pas.

workplace + childfree = i’ma go apeshit soon. 5.

In awkward, babies in adult places, childfree, heh, manners, new moms on November 7, 2012 at 7:15 pm

ok, since i read this, i’m officially finished complaining about any baby incidents at work. until something else happens.

but thank god no one at work brings their kid in every single day. like this italian mep, licia ronzulli. she started taking her baby to work at 6 months – and has continued ever since! omfg. the baby’s now a toddler and there are even pictures of her voting in parliament with her mother. let’s hope those votes don’t count.

it turns out bootsy really doesn’t have much to complain about after all.

and furthermore, why the heck is offbeat momma giving her a “two thumbs up”? there’s no explanation, only a summary of the story that originally appeared in the guardian. but i can’t imagine any situation where it would ever be ok to have a baby sitting on your lap while in parliament. either you have a job, or you’re a mom. i appreciate that women are capable of doing both, but please – if you want to be taken seriously as a professional, and to keep from marring the reputation of all womankind – please, please don’t intersect the two roles. the rest of us struggle hard enough to be taken seriously by our professional male peers.

things i love about my childfree life. 7.

In childfree on September 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm

that i don’t have to watch movies like this. no matter how positive the moral of the story is.

beverly hills chihuahua 3

for what it’s worth.

In childfree on September 17, 2012 at 6:22 pm

why is it that the standard measurement of a woman seems to be her feelings around kids?

“Oh, she’s just wonderful with kids….”

“she’s a neonatal nurse. she’s amazing…”

“she from a big family. she’s sure great with kids…”

well, listen up. that’s not the lot in life that all of us accept. i’ve been called a very kind, compassionate, nice person – and i happen not to like kids. but bring them into the picture and all of a sudden i’m a giant heathen because i’d rather eat my dinner in a different room.

there are all kinds of factors that determine a person’s character. the measure of a woman’s personality, generosity, kindness, or worth should not boil down to how she interacts with kids. it’s 2012. women these days are allowed out of the kitchen, after all…


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