i’m a long-time fan of the new yorker and it’s cartoons. this one from tom toro particularly made my day.
Posts Tagged ‘no kids’
i’ve said the time before and I’ll say it again: babies do not belong in the pub. As vice so eloquently put it, ‘for starters, they don’t buy anyone a drink.’ if you haven’t come across this article yet, i recommend that you give it a read. i think it’s written by my brother from another mother. or if not him, then by my soulmate, laurence.
lately, when i’ve been driving, i’ve noticed a lot of parents having it out with their kids. mothers going off at the on toddlers in the back seat. women lecturing their teenage sons. parents getting in arguments with their kids who are learning to drive. not for me, thanks. navigating traffic on its own is enough for me.
i love instagram. it’s basically my favourite social network so far in history. but earlier today I came across the account mykidcanteatthis and was horrified.
i’ve done my
fair share of babysitting. i’ve dined with the pickiest eaters. i am always astounded by the amount of food that parents end up throwing out. i would drive me absolutely bananas.
what crazy, irrational creatures kids are! there’s no reasoning with them. and this is reason #634,258 that i am happily childfree.
i’ll be honest. i love the fact that the media are getting in on the childfree discussion. however, take, for example, this article, 12 women who have the best response to society’s biggest expectation. it’s so cute how they pretend to understand and try to portray the childfree-friendly side of things, but i worry that they’re contributing to the whole us-them paradigm. the whole point of the blogging about being childfree thing is to emphasize the fact that it is what it is. no excuses needed. no reasons need to be given. no justifying the choices.
and then these articles come along that demand that childfree women have the most articulate, or humourous, or clever response at the ready. i say enough with the relentless expectations. no kids, no explanation. it is what it is.
and as if that isn’t bad enough, people like jennifer anniston takes us steps backwards with the argument that some of us are ‘still mothering’ even if it’s just a or a dog or cat or someone else’s kid. jennifer, some of us do not mother at all. and that is fine with us.
this cbc article showed up in my google alerts last week. you may have read it. in case you haven’t, let me summarize the situation for you:
- neighbours are less than impressed about noisy kids in neighbourhood.
- neighbours write anonymous letter asking parents to have them limit outdoor screaming time.
- parents deeply offended, public outrage ensues.
there are so many things wrong about this story and not a single one has anything to do with the letter writer.
- the mother can’t believe that the letter writer wouldn’t just come and talk to her in person. ha. i can believe it. could you imagine the wrath she would bring down on this anonymous letter if she knew who it was? the mother tried to track them down by knocking on every door in the neighbourhood ffs! no, mothers like this are best treated with a great deal of distance.
- is it too much for a homeowner to expect to be able to enjoy their property in peace? i know, it can’t be quiet all of the time. but how about being able to enjoy a space the majority of the time? i have no doubt they were over the moon when the school year started up again.
- enough with the playing up adhd for sympathy. i know i risk taking a lot of heat for this one but come on. your kids are hyper because you probably feed them too much crap food and everyone around you is supposed to suck it up and be sympathetic to your situation?
- this line: ‘she has used the letter to remind her kids to be respectful of their neighbours, and as an example of how not to deal with a problem.’ at first i read it incorrectly. i thought that ‘being respectful of their neighbours’ meant that the mother would encourage her children to play more quietly. ha nope. i guess these children have learned a valuable life lesson: if you have something to say, you’d better bring it right to the person’s face. three cheers for fisticuffs.
judging by the public outcry of of support for these parents, i’ve reconsidered writing a letter of my own to my noisy neighbours just yet…
i just saw a horrifying picture documenting a friend’s event on facebook and i realised something important – i never want to become that mom who goes to parties and brings her hors d’oeuvres in a tupperware serving container with a snap-on lid. there’s no reason that women have to cross the line from classy to practical in such a tacky way. every gathering of friends and loved ones (or, for that matter, the people you don’t care much for but maybe shouldn’t give up entirely trying to impress) deserves proper dishes – serving dishes included. don’t throw your respect for your friends out the window for the sake of convenience.
oh wow! has it really been nearly a year since i’ve blogged here? what can i say – things have been good. but upon grocery shopping last night, i was reminded again why i don’t want to have kids.
i know what you’re thinking.
but it wasn’t kids screaming in the aisle because their mom didn’t buy the cookies they wanted. and it wasn’t a kid pushing around a mini ‘shopper in training’ buggy, ramming everyone’s ankles. no, it was even better than that.
this girl was around 10 or 11, shopping with her mom and little sister. she was quite obviously disinterested and far too cool to be out running errands with her family. i usually ignore these kinds of families, but i noticed this girl right off the bat. i thought maybe she just had unfortunate features, until i realised she was doing duckface. like full on. on purpose. except she wasn’t in her bathroom and she wasn’t busy taking selfies.
ok, so you’re probably thinking, ‘oh, come on, bootsy. give the girl with the bad lip luck a break.’
but i know she was putting it on because she stopped doing it for a few minutes while she thought no one was looking.
and here’s where it comes back to the who kids/no kids issue:
kids do dumb stuff all the time, and as a parent you just basically have to put up with it and let them figure out for themselves if it defines them or not. but how do you deal with duckface? and not occasional, ruining a family picture here and there kind of duckface, but persistent, long-lasting, wearing through thick and thin duckface? seriously. come on.
why is it that parents (especially the new ones) always talk about 50 decibels louder than is appropriate for the environment. it borders on some kind of manic display to convince everyone around that your baby is the cutest and that this is the best decision you’ve ever made in your life and oh, you’re just oh so happy that you’ve finally discovered what real love is…
good. you’re talking to your baby. but you don’t need to talk so loudly! babies have very sensitive ears. as do some of the rest of us.
sure, it’s a pretty one-sided conversation. but you can’t be so strapped for things to say that you need to exclaim about how wet your baby’s adorable onesie is, or how full its diaper is. learn what’s appropriate in a coffee shop, ffs.
just keep it down. that’s all.