i need to thank psilomelane for introducing me to this one.
dirty little secrets mothers keep. the tagline says it all: the stuff we shouldn’t think, let alone say out loud…
it makes me sad. really, utterly depressed that this is how so much of humanity really feels.
dirty little secrets mothers keep #23.
I’ve often dream about my “guilt free” hospital stay, once when living with my in-laws I intentionally ate off chicken to try and make myself sick enough to get some time off…. (Mother to two children, 4 and a newborn, Cape Town , South Africa)
this is not healthy for the mothers or children. why, if it’s the best, most rewarding experience of anything we could ever go through, is there such a collective air of depression.
this blog is quite similar to the site, true mom confessions. my sister recently lent me the book by the same name, saying, ‘ this will keep you from changing your mind about things.’ (i just have to think that 2 kids and 8 years later she’s really starting to understand my childfree stance.)
i put off reading it. i wasn’t sure if i wanted to spend an afternoon reading a book so i could come out of it feeling judgmental and superior. after a few days of it sitting on my bedside table i picked the book up and began to read. maybe it could give me some compassion and let me understand what these moms are really feeling.
i finished the book and i felt as depressed as it seems many of these mothers do. i understand the need to share and feel like you’re part of something – that there are other people who feel the same way you do. but this collective experience does not seem to be a positive one.
i’m sorry for the mothers who made choices they’re obviously regretting on a day to day basis. perhaps down the road it will pay off in a big way. i’m sorry that so many women had children because they felt pressured, or it’s just the thing to do, or it happened by accident, or they just never thought there were other ways in which life can be fulfilling.
and this is why i started kids is crap. i know it’s usually offensive, judgmental and cynical. but i really want people to know that there is life outside parenthood. a lot of people have it and it’s ok not to feel guilty or selfish.