Posts Tagged ‘moms’

question for you.

In childfree on October 8, 2013 at 4:27 am

ok, it’s honesty hour up in here.

so do you judge women who have several (more than 2 or 3) kids? because i kind of do.

i don’t know why… maybe it’s because of articles like this that hint that only less educated women are having larger families these days. or maybe it’s because for whatever reason, i kind of feel like they must have nothing else going on for them so they might as well keep busy somehow…

why bring this up, you ask? well, because i hate being judged for not having kids. and so i don’t want to be just as bad for judging those who have an excess of them.

don’t be tacky.

In about me, childfree, manners, new moms on October 3, 2013 at 5:30 pm

i just saw a horrifying picture documenting a friend’s event on facebook and i realised something important – i never want to become that mom who goes to parties and brings her hors d’oeuvres in a tupperware serving container with a snap-on lid. there’s no reason that women have to cross the line from classy to practical in such a tacky way. every gathering of friends and loved ones (or, for that matter, the people you don’t care much for but maybe shouldn’t give up entirely trying to impress) deserves proper dishes – serving dishes included. don’t throw your respect for your friends out the window for the sake of convenience.

tacky tupperware

congratulations on your new baby & your senior’s discount.

In childfree, heh, new moms on July 19, 2011 at 4:38 am

where on earth has the cutoff gone for childbearing age? these baby mamas are getting older and older.

i’m 31 and feeling like i’m already over the hump. if i were to have kids now i have no idea how i’d possibly survive through sleepless nights. and that’s the least of it. how about running around at the park all day, adding the extra laundry to my weekly loads, cleaning up after a whole extra person… and when it gets older – driving it to school, sports, clubs, friends houses, driving friends home, pitching in to bake sales, fundraisers, volunteering for school trips…

i’m tired just thinking about it.

please don’t get me wrong. i’m not just lazy. there comes a point in a person’s life when their body starts to break down, and things start degenerating. grey hairs, for example are a tip that your body might not be in it’s prime to be producing new life.

i like to think that should i ever change my mind (as everyone is so fond of telling me i’ll do) that i’ll have to good sense to adopt a child who really needs a good home.

dirty little secrets.

In about me, childfree on June 14, 2011 at 5:37 am

i need to thank psilomelane for introducing me to this one.

dirty little secrets mothers keep. the tagline says it all: the stuff we shouldn’t think, let alone say out loud…

it makes me sad. really, utterly depressed that this is how so much of humanity really feels.

for example:

dirty little secrets mothers keep #23.

I’ve often dream about my “guilt free” hospital stay, once when living with my in-laws I intentionally ate off chicken to try and make myself sick enough to get some time off…. (Mother to two children, 4 and a newborn, Cape Town , South Africa)

this is not healthy for the mothers or children. why, if it’s the best, most rewarding experience of anything we could ever go through, is there such a collective air of depression.

this blog is quite similar to the site, true mom confessions. my sister recently lent me the book by the same name, saying, ‘ this will keep you from changing your mind about things.’ (i just have to think that 2 kids and 8 years later she’s really starting to understand my childfree stance.)

i put off reading it. i wasn’t sure if i wanted to spend an afternoon reading a book so i could come out of it feeling judgmental and superior. after a few days of it sitting on my bedside table i picked the book up and began to read. maybe it could give me some compassion and let me understand what these moms are really feeling.

i finished the book and i felt as depressed as it seems many of these mothers do. i understand the need to share and feel like you’re part of something – that there are other people who feel the same way you do. but this collective experience does not seem to be a positive one.

i’m sorry for the mothers who made choices they’re obviously regretting on a day to day basis. perhaps down the road it will pay off in a big way. i’m sorry that so many women had children because they felt pressured, or it’s just the thing to do, or it happened by accident, or they just never thought there were other ways in which life can be fulfilling.

and this is why i started kids is crap. i know it’s usually offensive, judgmental and cynical. but i really want people to know that there is life outside parenthood. a lot of people have it and it’s ok not to feel guilty or selfish.

these girls are going to be the moms i hate.

In babies in adult places, childfree, heh, manners on January 21, 2011 at 2:24 pm

i was in a restaurant today eating lunch by myself. (for the record, i wasn’t by myself because i’m a miserable, child-hating hag that no one likes, but because i’d just finished presenting at an event and i needed some time to unwind. alone.) anyway, there were these 3 girls eating at a table somewhat near mine. technically, they weren’t close enough that they should have been within earshot, but i couldn’t hear anything besides them.

it was bad enough when they were talking about carbs and losing weight (they were off sugar and coffee). but then they started talking about iuds. you know, the birth control option.

one girl had one. the other two had heard nothing but horror stories about them – which they delighted over sharing at the lunch table. the girl who had one had no qualms about discussing how it goes in, how it feels, how it effected her periods for the first six months (badly, for the record). there was a fair amount of mention of the word cervix. at the lunch table.

and that’s when i thought to myself, these are the exact girls who turn into the moms i hate. the kind that love to discuss every disgusting detail of their bodies’ metamorphosis from twenty-something to i’ll-do-anything-to-lose-this-baby-weight.

i don’t care about your cervix. or your periods. or where the hell the baby is positioned right now when i’m sitting across the board table or the lunch table. is that your idea of a good time? maybe we could have dinner later this week and i could tell you all about my latest stool exam.

i’d just like this to be a reminder that there are appropriate times and places to discuss these kinds of things in. at lunch. in a restaurant. is not the place.


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