Posts Tagged ‘halloween’

i’m ok, actually.

In childfree on October 11, 2015 at 4:25 am

okay, so baby wayne and garth are pretty good, but it’s still not enough to make me want a poop factory of my own.

workplace + childfree = i’ma go apeshit soon. 4.

In awkward, babies in adult places, childfree, new moms on October 31, 2013 at 3:12 pm

halloween. at the office. what better time for everyone to bring their adorbs babies into the office to show off their costumes, i swear – these stay-at-home moms need something to keep them busier.

and then it gets awkward when the mom stands in front of me, while i’m trying to eat my lunch in peace, waiting for me to googoo all over the baby in whatever furry animal costume its wearing. sorry lady – i don’t follow the latest cartoons for tots and i’m sure i have no idea what your kid is supposed to be. and i’m also pretty sure that it’s far too young to be eating chocolate so maybe you should just put on a costume for yourself since the only reason you came in here in the first place was to get candy for yourself.

sheesh. mothers.

for the love of halloween.

In awkward, childfree, new moms on October 7, 2013 at 10:57 am

halloween is nearly here. i wrote before about this great maternity costume on instructables. but lately i’ve been seeing my pregnant friends on facebook (who i haven’t yet hidden from my news feed) posting and discussing ‘clever’ halloween costume ideas that incorporate their baby bumps.

after a little precursory searching of google, it’s easy to see that for whatever reason, all sense of creativity and humour goes out the window when a pregnancy settles in. most of the ideas in an average image search include women painting their bellies with flowers or fairies, or else as a watermelon or basketball:

maternity body paint

of course, there are always the women who don’t want to give up on the halloween sexy. so you got knocked up – don’t let that stop you from being a sexy nurse or a sexy devil or a sexy pirate:

maternity costumes

i say, if you’re going to do it, go big or go home.

variations of the zombie baby is still one of my favourites:

maternity zombie costume

and, of course, being the jersey shore fan that i am, this pregnant snookie is a close second. (oh wait… that’s no costume).

pregnant snooki

halloween to the max.

In awkward, childfree, new moms on September 13, 2012 at 5:55 pm

well kids, it’s that time of year. the leaves are falling and halloween’s just around the corner. the good people at instructables have come up with this adorable halloween costume for the pregnant ladies. heck, it’s so good i may even pretend to be pregnant for a day. as if that alone wouldn’t be a horrifying enough costume.

instructables pregnant halloween costume


In childfree on November 1, 2011 at 6:29 pm

halloween candy corn

if there’s one perk to having kids it’s halloween candy.

if i had kids i’d drive them to all the ritziest neighbourhoods to collect full-sized chocolate bars and cans of coke. and then i’d charge them payment in bonbons for my driving time.

if i had kids. which i don’t.

because the perks as i’ve added them up do not outweigh the hassles.


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