Posts Tagged ‘best friends’

fact: being a mom HAS made you a bad friend.

In childfree, new moms on August 23, 2015 at 6:59 am

I just came across this old post on a friend’s girl i used to know’s facebook page. she argued that the article, being a mom has made me a bad friend was basically rubbish and everyone who agreed with it could “F off”… oh, and to all her besties who gave stuck it out with her, she’s got their back.

here’s the rub. moms like that say they’re the same, and that they’d do anything for their friends at the drop of a hat. translation: you must make yourself available within a 45 minute window in the mid-morning. don’t expect phone calls. and if you phone her, don’t expect her to remember anything about a single thing that’s going on in your life. even major life events or milestones. and forget about calling in the middle of the night for help solving a problem; the phone is turned off promptly half an hour before bedtime. and if, by some great miracle, she does manage to find a way to “have your back” you’d better understand that it comes at the tremendous cost of the expectation that you will babysit at the most inconvenient time for you, repeatedly, until she feels the debt has been repaid.

this is why my friend circle is currently in flux. friends with kids: it was a good run while we were young and you were fun. but now I need to find someone my age who still knows how to be a good friend. because friendship can’t be one-sided.

another one bites the dust.

In about me, childfree, lessons learned on November 9, 2013 at 5:03 am

this past week was a doozy. a second friend announced her pregnancy, while another yet had an actual baby.

i need to step up my friend-finding mission.

have any of you had success with local childfree meetups or anything like it? i need to know. pros and cons.


no new friend for me.

In about me, childfree, heh, lessons learned, new moms on November 3, 2013 at 5:56 am


i thought she was the one. my new friend who just moved to town. she’s fun, she’s funny, she likes the same things i do, except for ONE MAJOR PROBLEM. she’s pregnant.

it’s such a big time letdown. i’d had such high hopes for us together.

time and again, just when i think i’ve learned my lesson, i go and do it again. sure, I knew she wanted kids. but it won’t be for a while, i told myself. i can get a good couple of years out of her, i lied to myself.

fool me once, shame on me. fool me twice, i need to check myself. no, from here on out i’m going to be absolutely strict with my new friend policy.

must have:
– no kids.
– no interest in ever having kids.
– not chosen a career path that focuses on working with kids (i.e. teaching)

i think I’ve got it now. finally.

photo credit.


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