how did i ever miss this? david duchovney and tea leoni named their kid ‘kyd’?! that sounds like something i’d do to make a point.
Posts Tagged ‘baby names’
it’s come to my attention that there seems to be a new system for naming babies. it’s not good enough to flip through the old baby names book anymore. no. i’ve realised that what people actually do is find 2 names they adore and combine them into one. but isn’t this why middle names were invented? for the indecisive parents?
i’ll give you some examples:
dave + aaron = darron (not so bad, really. it’s actually a name that’s been around for years.)
but it hasn’t stopped at such rational combinations. people are getting out of control!
there are no names like jarron (james + aaron) and andrick (andrew + eric). and let’s not forget about the girls. oh those poor, unfortunate girls.
the girls most often seem to fall victim to the dreaded 3-name combos: leshandra (leslie + shannon + sandra).
i’m calling a stop to this naming numbskullery.
imagine these kids when they start school, or start dating, or meeting people at the bar…
“i’m john. what’s your name?”
“no, like sharon and leigh and petra.”
animal names for babies?
well this is just far too good to pass up.
thanks to parenting.com for compiling this list for us. some of these names i get. but some are just really, really out there.
my faves? well, since you asked:
- cougar – sounds like you want your little pussycat to have to scrap it out on the playground.
- dragon – really? how much more pretentious can it get.
- crow – an interesting bird. but never brought about colloquially in good context.
- sharpay – please meet our daughter, sharpay. oh and this is our sharpay, elisabeth. confusing.
well, it’s the new year. hopefully it will be happy if parents follow some resolutions i’ve drafted up for them.
- no changing diapers at your table in the restaurant/on the train/in any public place. poo is poo.
- no complaining about how hard your life is. you did it to yourself.
- no getting pissy with me when i talk about how relaxing/fun/spontaneous my weekend was.
- no naming your babies stupid names that a) no one can spell/pronounce and b) just sound like beverages like tayo or tequila
- if your precious starts acting up in the grocery store/restaurant/library, please excuse yourselves and step outside.
- keep your sick kids home. they’re not at school for a reason.
- keep your lice to yourself.
- make an effort to still see your friends/stay out past 7pm/be on time just once for something.
- stop bugging your childfree friends about their future plans for families. we already have families.
- don’t try to convince me that parenthood is the most rewarding thing i could do. tip: bags under the eyes and premature grey hair don’t lie.
how could i forget?!
i had the pleasure of having coffee next to a kid named tayo yesterday. for the record, it seems to be a boys name.
i was so delighted and disgusted at once. i just kept saying the name as many times as i could.
so your name’s tayo, huh?
how old are you tayo?
that hot chocolate looks pretty good.
well you certainly don’t look like a carton of potato milk.
well, tayo, it’s been a slice but i’ve got to run.
i’m just kidding. i don’t really remember how the conversation went. i was too distracted by the name. but i can tell you it was somewhat of a treat to get to try out this name of the 2010 in realtime.
as a follow-up to my previous post here are some atrocious celebrity baby names of 2010. thanks to shine for this contribution.
least fave celebrity baby names of 2010:
- buddy bear maurice (jamie oliver & juliette norton) – while i generally abhor annyone calling their kid ‘buddy’ in public, i have to admit that all together i kind of like this one. i’m sorry for his school days, though. assuming it is a boy.
- egypt daoud (alicia keys & kaseem dean, aka swizz beatz) – oh no you didn’t.
- cosima violet (claudia schiffer & matthew vaughn) – i can see this kid enjoying the name later in life, once she reaches her bohemian years. if she keeps it that long.
- axel (will ferrell & viveca paulin) – a.) how did will ferrell get anyone to procreate with him? and b.) this name entirely rocks so she can’t be that bad. not sure how this one made it on the worst list.
- krishna thea (padma lakshmi) – i’m going to let this one go, considering she’s married to salman rushdie; he tends to have a pretty good head on his shoulders. i’m a big fan so i don’t want to step on any toes.
have you heard of any other outrageous celeb baby names over the past year? i’d love to hear them! please share them in the comments.
- xander – still more formal than the commonly shortened alex but still unique enough to seem cool
- sirius – we’ve all read harry potter. do you really want to do this to your kid?
- chase – just please don’t.
- ander – another creative abbreviation of alexander.
- anderson – you know the mom sits at home fantasizing while she watches cnn.
- jonas – as in the jonas brothers? i hope not.
- talan – still gross. and not really a name.
- tayo – still takes the cake.
have i missed any? without a doubt. please feel free to add your favourites in the comments section below.