Archive for the ‘childfree’ Category

vag music.

In childfree on January 5, 2016 at 2:44 am


so here’s something neat: it’s an ipod for your unborn baby. yup. just insert and let the good times roll and your baby’s development begin.

this baby kid is rubbish.

In childfree on December 5, 2015 at 8:19 pm

i always like to see how people find my site. looking through the keywords always gives me a chuckle. here are some of my favourites:

– this baby kid is rubbish (i’m considering changing the name of my blog to this. for real.)

– kids are shit (enough said.)

– friends with kids crap (who doesn’t have these friends? i’m here for you, whoever you are…)

– scabies lipgloss (well, that’s just gross. and I don’t think i’ve ever written about either on this blog. correct me if I’m wrong.)

– hairy and ginger kid (umm…)

– hate your family (it does basically sum up this site.)

– i’m too pretty to do homework, so my brother has to do it for me (what? i don’t even know how this brought anyone here.)

– i don’t want to hold the baby (exactly.)

– people be like team no kids (and those people be alright with me.)

i’m ok, actually.

In childfree on October 11, 2015 at 4:25 am

okay, so baby wayne and garth are pretty good, but it’s still not enough to make me want a poop factory of my own.

just another thing.

In childfree on September 7, 2015 at 5:40 am

i loved/hated reading my friends ditched me after baby: i don’t want to be that girl in today’s parent. this girl is complaining that everyone didn’t rush to her aid when she popped out her baby. she also complains that, ‘there were those who treated my having a baby like just another thing i was doing—like taking a course or getting a new job.’

why my mixed feelings? because this article highlights the attitude of moms and parents everywhere: that they are blessing the world with their offspring and we should all drop to our knees in awe of the tremendous feat (i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: it takes a lot more skill and a much bigger miracle to not get knocked up over the course of one’s reproductive years!). the opinions expressed in this article only serve to reinforce my indignation about the whole new motherhood scene.

furthermore, the fact that she’s miffed that others just treated her pregnancy like any other big life event rather than the miracle it truly is… well, just go and read the comments for yourself.

and the fact that her friends ditched her? i’ve realised that sometimes you’re friends with people at different times in your life. in learning to cope with the loss of some of my own close friendships due to new babies, i’ve had to reconcile with the fact that maybe not all friends are forever. or maybe there’s just a good 15-year gap during which they’re otherwise disposed. maybe it’s time for mothers to realise that, too.


In childfree on September 5, 2015 at 5:25 am

i’m a long-time fan of the new yorker and it’s cartoons. this one from tom toro particularly made my day.


tom toro, new yorker

babies in pubs.

In childfree on September 4, 2015 at 6:45 pm


Illustration by Tom Scotcher

i’ve said the time before and I’ll say it again: babies do not belong in the pub. As vice so eloquently put it, ‘for starters, they don’t buy anyone a drink.’ if you haven’t come across this article yet, i recommend that you give it a read. i think it’s written by my brother from another mother. or if not him, then by my soulmate, laurence.

toddlers are a**holes.

In childfree on September 4, 2015 at 4:31 am


oh, come on. who doesn’t want to read this book? heaven forbid this mother/writer breaks the unspoken rule and lets the real truth about toddlers be known!

baby box.

In childfree on September 3, 2015 at 5:42 pm


this bundle of joy that made you see what love actually is. this sweet little person that made you understand what’s really important in life. this precious clone of yourself that has fulfilled your life’s destiny and is your sole reason for being on the planet.

and you’re looking for legal creative ways to put him in a box for an hour so you can have a little “me time”?

mothers, you can keep trying to sell your story all you like; i’m still not buying.

too awkward for me.

In childfree on September 3, 2015 at 4:30 am


photo from

lately, when i’ve been driving, i’ve noticed a lot of parents having it out with their kids. mothers going off at the on toddlers in the back seat. women lecturing their teenage sons. parents getting in arguments with their kids who are learning to drive. not for me, thanks. navigating traffic on its own is enough for me.

hipster babies.

In childfree on September 2, 2015 at 2:09 pm

what?! i can’t even.







i hope these kids grow up and be everything their trendy parents don’t want them to be.


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