Posts Tagged ‘no kids’

places babies don’t belong.

In awkward, babies in adult places, childfree, manners, new moms on October 4, 2013 at 3:08 am

  • workshops
  • pubs
  • work
  • my house
  • dinner dates
  • liquor stores
  • anywhere around where i am
  • living in condominiums
  • the gym
  • public swimming pools
  • counters
  • restaurant tabletops
  • luggage carousels
  • grocery store checkout belts
  • airplanes
  • long bus rides
  • wedding ceremonies
  • funerals
  • events where there is a speaker
  • the spa
  • class
  • lectures
  • book club
  • girls night
  • pool halls
  • casinos
  • beach resorts
  • tanning salon
  • hair salon

don’t be tacky.

In about me, childfree, manners, new moms on October 3, 2013 at 5:30 pm

i just saw a horrifying picture documenting a friend’s event on facebook and i realised something important – i never want to become that mom who goes to parties and brings her hors d’oeuvres in a tupperware serving container with a snap-on lid. there’s no reason that women have to cross the line from classy to practical in such a tacky way. every gathering of friends and loved ones (or, for that matter, the people you don’t care much for but maybe shouldn’t give up entirely trying to impress) deserves proper dishes – serving dishes included. don’t throw your respect for your friends out the window for the sake of convenience.

tacky tupperware


In awkward, childfree, heh on October 2, 2013 at 3:53 pm

oh wow! has it really been nearly a year since i’ve blogged here? what can i say – things have been good. but upon grocery shopping last night, i was reminded again why i don’t want to have kids.

i know what you’re thinking.

but it wasn’t kids screaming in the aisle because their mom didn’t buy the cookies they wanted. and it wasn’t a kid pushing around a mini ‘shopper in training’ buggy, ramming everyone’s ankles. no, it was even better than that.

this girl was around 10 or 11, shopping with her mom and little sister. she was quite obviously disinterested and far too cool to be out running errands with her family. i usually ignore these kinds of families, but i noticed this girl right off the bat. i thought maybe she just had unfortunate features, until i realised she was doing duckface. like full on. on purpose. except she wasn’t in her bathroom and she wasn’t busy taking selfies.

ok, so you’re probably thinking, ‘oh, come on, bootsy. give the girl with the bad lip luck a break.’

but i know she was putting it on because she stopped doing it for a few minutes while she thought no one was looking.

and here’s where it comes back to the who kids/no kids issue:

kids do dumb stuff all the time, and as a parent you just basically have to put up with it and let them figure out for themselves if it defines them or not. but how do you deal with duckface? and not occasional, ruining a family picture here and there kind of duckface, but persistent, long-lasting, wearing through thick and thin duckface? seriously. come on.

use your inside voice.

In awkward, babies in adult places, new moms on November 28, 2012 at 5:36 am

why is it that parents (especially the new ones) always talk about 50 decibels louder than is appropriate for the environment. it borders on some kind of manic display to convince everyone around that your baby is the cutest and that this is the best decision you’ve ever made in your life and oh, you’re just oh so happy that you’ve finally discovered what real love is…

good. you’re talking to your baby. but you don’t need to talk so loudly! babies have very sensitive ears. as do some of the rest of us.

sure, it’s a pretty one-sided conversation. but you can’t be so strapped for things to say that you need to exclaim about how wet your baby’s adorable onesie is, or how full its diaper is. learn what’s appropriate in a coffee shop, ffs.

just keep it down. that’s all.


at the spa.

In babies in adult places, childfree on November 8, 2012 at 3:10 pm

i was at the spa this afternoon. maxing. and then it started. someone upstairs brought their toddler in. it was running around and screaming. at the spa.

serious faux pas.

workplace + childfree = i’ma go apeshit soon. 5.

In awkward, babies in adult places, childfree, heh, manners, new moms on November 7, 2012 at 7:15 pm

ok, since i read this, i’m officially finished complaining about any baby incidents at work. until something else happens.

but thank god no one at work brings their kid in every single day. like this italian mep, licia ronzulli. she started taking her baby to work at 6 months – and has continued ever since! omfg. the baby’s now a toddler and there are even pictures of her voting in parliament with her mother. let’s hope those votes don’t count.

it turns out bootsy really doesn’t have much to complain about after all.

and furthermore, why the heck is offbeat momma giving her a “two thumbs up”? there’s no explanation, only a summary of the story that originally appeared in the guardian. but i can’t imagine any situation where it would ever be ok to have a baby sitting on your lap while in parliament. either you have a job, or you’re a mom. i appreciate that women are capable of doing both, but please – if you want to be taken seriously as a professional, and to keep from marring the reputation of all womankind – please, please don’t intersect the two roles. the rest of us struggle hard enough to be taken seriously by our professional male peers.

things i love about my childfree life. 7.

In childfree on September 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm

that i don’t have to watch movies like this. no matter how positive the moral of the story is.

beverly hills chihuahua 3

for what it’s worth.

In childfree on September 17, 2012 at 6:22 pm

why is it that the standard measurement of a woman seems to be her feelings around kids?

“Oh, she’s just wonderful with kids….”

“she’s a neonatal nurse. she’s amazing…”

“she from a big family. she’s sure great with kids…”

well, listen up. that’s not the lot in life that all of us accept. i’ve been called a very kind, compassionate, nice person – and i happen not to like kids. but bring them into the picture and all of a sudden i’m a giant heathen because i’d rather eat my dinner in a different room.

there are all kinds of factors that determine a person’s character. the measure of a woman’s personality, generosity, kindness, or worth should not boil down to how she interacts with kids. it’s 2012. women these days are allowed out of the kitchen, after all…

watch it. or don’t.

In childfree on June 30, 2012 at 5:41 am

have you seen this? they used an mri to record the birthing process so that now we can know what it looks like from the inside.

for some reason i can’t embed the video code here, so if you’re really curious (as i was) you’ll have to hop over to cbs news for a visit.

i don’t know why i watched it. i know how i already feel about childbirth. it seems hideous to me. like something i wish to never, ever endure. i have to say this video lived up to my imagination. thank goodness we’re only where we are with technology and it’s as black and white and vague as it is.


In childfree, heh on June 18, 2012 at 4:40 am

here’s a photo i forgot i took months ago. it’s on a baby change table in a public bathroom. never has graffiti been truer.

cry baby


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