bootsy

Posts Tagged ‘kids’

it sucks.

In childfree, heh on November 27, 2013 at 6:56 pm

this guy came over yesterday to buy something we had posted online. he was young, engaged, and had a kid. we just met this guy and one of the first things he said was, ‘i have a kid. i’m not going to lie. it sucks.”

well, straight from the donkey’s mouth.

33 reasons we can’t be friends.

In childfree, heh, lessons learned on November 15, 2013 at 5:40 pm

i came across this article on scary mommy (guess where i found it? where else. thanks again, facebook). and while i normally ignore posts like this, for whatever reason i opened it. maybe i opened it because i was hoping that there was some redeeming reason that would explain why it’s possibly ok for moms to be chronically late for every single thing they ever plan. maybe i was hoping for some reason that would make me feel ok about letting it slide now and then when my friend with a toddler blows off our plans for the 10th time in a row.

alas, that didn’t happen. all i found was a list of shitty excuses that moms like to dole out time and again.

i’d like to know – does anyone out there have success meeting up with friends who have kids? because i never have. and that’s why i don’t have any.

things i love about my childfree life. 8.

In about me, childfree on October 9, 2013 at 1:55 pm

eating whatever i want. whenever i want it. because i don’t have enough to wait for someone else to finish a meal they hate before i can have my dessert. and because sometimes i just want potato chips for breakfast.

don’t be tacky.

In about me, childfree, manners, new moms on October 3, 2013 at 5:30 pm

i just saw a horrifying picture documenting a friend’s event on facebook and i realised something important – i never want to become that mom who goes to parties and brings her hors d’oeuvres in a tupperware serving container with a snap-on lid. there’s no reason that women have to cross the line from classy to practical in such a tacky way. every gathering of friends and loved ones (or, for that matter, the people you don’t care much for but maybe shouldn’t give up entirely trying to impress) deserves proper dishes – serving dishes included. don’t throw your respect for your friends out the window for the sake of convenience.

tacky tupperware

duckface.

In awkward, childfree, heh on October 2, 2013 at 3:53 pm

oh wow! has it really been nearly a year since i’ve blogged here? what can i say – things have been good. but upon grocery shopping last night, i was reminded again why i don’t want to have kids.

i know what you’re thinking.

but it wasn’t kids screaming in the aisle because their mom didn’t buy the cookies they wanted. and it wasn’t a kid pushing around a mini ‘shopper in training’ buggy, ramming everyone’s ankles. no, it was even better than that.

this girl was around 10 or 11, shopping with her mom and little sister. she was quite obviously disinterested and far too cool to be out running errands with her family. i usually ignore these kinds of families, but i noticed this girl right off the bat. i thought maybe she just had unfortunate features, until i realised she was doing duckface. like full on. on purpose. except she wasn’t in her bathroom and she wasn’t busy taking selfies.

ok, so you’re probably thinking, ‘oh, come on, bootsy. give the girl with the bad lip luck a break.’

but i know she was putting it on because she stopped doing it for a few minutes while she thought no one was looking.

and here’s where it comes back to the who kids/no kids issue:

kids do dumb stuff all the time, and as a parent you just basically have to put up with it and let them figure out for themselves if it defines them or not. but how do you deal with duckface? and not occasional, ruining a family picture here and there kind of duckface, but persistent, long-lasting, wearing through thick and thin duckface? seriously. come on.

workplace + childfree = i’ma go apeshit soon. 5.

In awkward, babies in adult places, childfree, heh, manners, new moms on November 7, 2012 at 7:15 pm

ok, since i read this, i’m officially finished complaining about any baby incidents at work. until something else happens.

but thank god no one at work brings their kid in every single day. like this italian mep, licia ronzulli. she started taking her baby to work at 6 months – and has continued ever since! omfg. the baby’s now a toddler and there are even pictures of her voting in parliament with her mother. let’s hope those votes don’t count.

it turns out bootsy really doesn’t have much to complain about after all.

and furthermore, why the heck is offbeat momma giving her a “two thumbs up”? there’s no explanation, only a summary of the story that originally appeared in the guardian. but i can’t imagine any situation where it would ever be ok to have a baby sitting on your lap while in parliament. either you have a job, or you’re a mom. i appreciate that women are capable of doing both, but please – if you want to be taken seriously as a professional, and to keep from marring the reputation of all womankind – please, please don’t intersect the two roles. the rest of us struggle hard enough to be taken seriously by our professional male peers.

so many kids…

In childfree on September 8, 2012 at 7:27 pm

 

so many kids so few dingoes

who wants to race?

In awkward, childfree on August 31, 2012 at 6:32 pm

every time i see this one it cracks me right up.

kids sack race, 1 kid falls

*thanks to http://www.lolroflmao.com for this one.

you call your kid ‘kyd’?

In baby names on February 1, 2012 at 6:09 pm

david duchovny

how did i ever miss this? david duchovney and tea leoni named their kid ‘kyd’?! that sounds like something i’d do to make a point.

halloween

In childfree on November 1, 2011 at 6:29 pm

halloween candy corn

if there’s one perk to having kids it’s halloween candy.

if i had kids i’d drive them to all the ritziest neighbourhoods to collect full-sized chocolate bars and cans of coke. and then i’d charge them payment in bonbons for my driving time.

if i had kids. which i don’t.

because the perks as i’ve added them up do not outweigh the hassles.

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