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Posts Tagged ‘gross’

places babies don’t belong.

In awkward, babies in adult places, childfree, manners, new moms on October 4, 2013 at 3:08 am

  • workshops
  • pubs
  • work
  • my house
  • dinner dates
  • liquor stores
  • anywhere around where i am
  • living in condominiums
  • the gym
  • public swimming pools
  • counters
  • restaurant tabletops
  • luggage carousels
  • grocery store checkout belts
  • airplanes
  • long bus rides
  • wedding ceremonies
  • funerals
  • events where there is a speaker
  • the spa
  • class
  • lectures
  • book club
  • girls night
  • pool halls
  • casinos
  • beach resorts
  • tanning salon
  • hair salon

facebook gems. part 4.

In childfree, manners, new moms on July 18, 2011 at 10:57 am

wonders how parents refrain from picking the boogers out of their babies noses… It is driving me crazy!! Must not pick his nose…

really? this is disgusting. absolutely. it goes to show how gross parents are when they lose their sense of censorship.

psst parents: here’s a tip. no one wants to read this on facebook in the morning over a cup of coffee, or at any other time of day for that matter. also, your baby’s poo smells like everyone else’s and i’d rather you didn’t change its diaper in the middle of the living room carpet. and that cute thing it does after it eats – you know, you call it burping up – i call it puking. no less disgusting than a drunken 40 year old man puking into a garbage can on a tuesday morning.

look. i know the babies can’t help it. but you could try to have a little discretion around any bodily functions. please. i’m really not looking to go on a diet but you’re making me lose my appetite at every turn.

reasons why kid are gross.

In childfree, heh, manners on June 24, 2011 at 2:11 pm

  1. using their hair as napkins.
  2. runny noses.
  3. booger and poop jokes.
  4. they touch everything.
  5. fingerprints on the car windows.
  6. they smell weird.
  7. talking while they eat.
  8. saving their gum for later. on the table.
  9. sticking their stinky sock feet everywhere.
  10. they share everything. food, drinks, lip gloss, hair brushes.
  11. lice.
  12. scabies.
  13. conjunctivitis
  14. farts.
  15. loose teeth.

reason #947,672 to stay childfree

In childfree, lessons learned on June 13, 2011 at 8:40 am

pinkeye.

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