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Posts Tagged ‘diapers’

baby gots to pay, too.

In awkward, babies in adult places, childfree, new moms on September 1, 2012 at 6:32 am

i found this story a couple of months ago about newborns being made to pay for a ticket into the olympics.

KitAndKat writes: “That’s ridiculous to charge 95 quid ($140) for an infant in a sling that isn’t even going to occupy a seat. If they charged you a nominal amount to take the baby that might be fair enough.

and while the olympics are well and done and the paralympics are just getting started, this article, and these irate mothers, raise some interesting points.

i’ve rarely seen a new mother with baby who doesn’t take up 3x the space of an average, non-baby-carrying person. this kitandkat is trying to let on that she’ll waltz into the venue, footloose and fancy-free with only a sweater and her baby slung around her torso.

ha.

new mothers always have to bring everything they might possibly need in the span of a day – 5 changes of clothing, 10 extra diapers, baby wipes, powder and lotion, medication, sunscreen, hats, blankets, clean blankets in case the other blankets get dirty, soothers, toys, books, a cell phone for emergency calls to the paediatrician… i could go on but quite frankly, i have no idea what they stuff those enormous, tacky baby bags full of. and then there’s the baby carrier: it’s so convenient – it just pops in and out of the car! car seat… baby holder… and don’t forget about the luxury strollers. what happened to having an economical umbrella stroller for crowded places? i’m feeling dangerously near to getting into a stroller rant, so i’ll have to save that for another post.

the point is this: parents should have to budget in an extra seat – if not for the baby itself, or for all of the many accessories that go with it, then for the poor people who are stuck sitting next to this rigmarole even though they paid just as much as the people 5 rows removed from the baby.

on the airplane. at a ball game. in the movies. and yes, even at the olympics.

graffiti.

In childfree, heh on June 18, 2012 at 4:40 am

here’s a photo i forgot i took months ago. it’s on a baby change table in a public bathroom. never has graffiti been truer.

cry baby

stuff n’ things.

In about me, babies in adult places, childfree, new moms on June 15, 2012 at 4:59 am

what is wrong with the people? has the world gone mad???

babies in restaurants, i’m sure, is a topic i’ve covered before on this blog. and if i haven’t, well, then i’m guilty of a monstrous error of omission.

don't change diapers in the restauranti know that parents always say, ‘never judge us until you’ve been through it yourself.’ i’m here to tell you today that i will never, ever, at any point in my life, feel that it’s ok to change a diaper in a restaurant, on the booth seat, on the table, or even on the floor anywhere near where food is consumed. if that’s what you want to do in the privacy of your house, fine. just don’t invite me over to eat. at what point to these perfectly respectable humans, raised by their parents and grandparents (now probably rolling over in their graves) to have grace and dignity, suddenly find themselves thinking, ‘hey – you know what? the bathroom’s too dirty for my little precious. i think i’ll change his little bumbum right here beside all of these other diners.’

stop it!!!

i’m here to tell parents to wake up:

  • your kids waste stinks to other people (even if you’re too whacked out by hormones to think so).
  • it’s not hygienic – pee is pee, poo is poo (i’m sorry for being crass here). i don’t want to come in contact with it and i certainly don’t want to develop any food-borne illness from your baby’s dung on my seat.
  • privates are private. i don’t want to watch some toddler running around my table in all his free-spirited glory. i would like to go out for a meal and enjoy the food, some scintillating conversation, and a relaxing atmosphere.
  • this goes for restaurants. but it also goes for airplanes, food courts, libraries, pretty much any public surface that isn’t going to regularly disinfected.

and another thing for the new moms.

i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again. new moms – don’t stand there and look around for praise all the time every single time your kid looks around. i see this wherever i go. the baby makes a cute noise and the mom looks at me with an expression saying, ‘oh he’s so precious – why are you cooing yet?’ because i’m not going to, that’s why. if i wanted my own warm little 9lb entertainment center i’d go and make one for myself (it’s not like it’s that hard to do).  i’m never going to be one of the crowd gathered around to see what ghastly noise is going to escape your precious one next. and on the airplane, when i’m sitting behind your new family, i certainly don’t want to star at your kid because he thinks it’s funny to play peekaboo over the top of the seat. in fact, i find it obnoxious and distracting from the work i usually love having the time to do when i’m travelling. is it so wrong to ask you to ask your kid to stop staring at me?

people come down on me all the time and say i’m a baby hater. i’m not. in fact, i probably treat babies and kids with more respect than a lot of parents ever will. you know why? because i treat them like people. with all of the rights that go along with that (right to privacy at bathroom time being one of those rights). i think that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity. i can’t even remember the last time i took a dump in the booth at mcdonalds.

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on another note, i’m back. i’ve been pining to updating this blog for so long. it’s been a busy few months with lots of changes. i hope you haven’t given up on me, or worse, thought i’d changed my mind about this childfree stuff. it’s a relief to finally be getting my rant back on. thanks for your patience!

pass on the shower – i’ll take a bath instead.

In about me, awkward, new moms on January 14, 2011 at 8:08 pm

well, i just can’t seem to stop myself.

someone posts baby shower pictures on facebook and i just have to take a look, never mind the fact that i’ve sworn off attending them.

i’ve told my friends and family that they should never be disappointed to see me at one. i’ll buy them a gift (begrudgingly) but i just can’t face it.

here’s why:

  • what’s in the diaper? the oh-so-delicious game of guessing what kind of chocolate bar is semi melted into a disposable diaper. this game is repulsive on so many levels. let me count the ways: a) disposables wreak havoc on the environment. if you have to use them, does it really have to be for a stupid party game? b) maybe you think it’s funny to see other people doing what you do all day, but i don’t. and c) i don’t even eat chocolate bars use microwaves, for pete’s sakes. how the heck am i supposed to recognize this??

baby shower diaper game

yes, this girl is actually tasting it.

  • pass the baby – i, for one, am all for baby showers that preempt the baby. i don’t want to hold it. i don’t want to deal with the mom after i’ve said that i don’t want to hold it, i’m not going to say how cute it is. i don’t even want to look at it, smell it, or listen to it. and i certainly don’t have anything to say to it, nor do i want a keepsake photo of me with it.
  • stop the crying - this seems to be a theme at showers when the baby is present. all the cackling women make the baby start crying with all their chatter. then it seems to be a contest to decide the most motherly. who can make the baby stop crying? they pass it around for far too long, saying, ‘oh let me try,’ or, ‘oh it just needs this.’ what it needs, dumbasses, is its mom. that’s why it’s crying.
  • all those women – really. i’m happy i’m a woman but to be around a whole gaggle of them for an afternoon just about kills me. talk about exhausting.
  • games – i can’t fold baby sock the fastest. i don’t even fold my own socks. why would i fold someone else’s? i’ve already mentioned the diaper game. what else. it seems i’ve (thankfully) blocked the rest out of memory.

so if you’re a friend of mine, and you’re planning on getting pregnant, don’t expect me to make an exception for you because we’ve know each other for ever. and i’ll never go to an awkward coworker baby shower. the worst kind of all. there’s just no accounting for taste. or parenting styles.

have you ever played any appalling baby shower games? or been forced to hold someone’s baby? share your story with me. please! let me know i’m not the only one…

*for the record: the photo is courtesy of facebook and lax profile privacy settings. if this is you in the photo and you find it utterly offensive just let me know and i’ll happily remove it.*

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