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Posts Tagged ‘children’

duckface.

In awkward, childfree, heh on October 2, 2013 at 3:53 pm

oh wow! has it really been nearly a year since i’ve blogged here? what can i say – things have been good. but upon grocery shopping last night, i was reminded again why i don’t want to have kids.

i know what you’re thinking.

but it wasn’t kids screaming in the aisle because their mom didn’t buy the cookies they wanted. and it wasn’t a kid pushing around a mini ‘shopper in training’ buggy, ramming everyone’s ankles. no, it was even better than that.

this girl was around 10 or 11, shopping with her mom and little sister. she was quite obviously disinterested and far too cool to be out running errands with her family. i usually ignore these kinds of families, but i noticed this girl right off the bat. i thought maybe she just had unfortunate features, until i realised she was doing duckface. like full on. on purpose. except she wasn’t in her bathroom and she wasn’t busy taking selfies.

ok, so you’re probably thinking, ‘oh, come on, bootsy. give the girl with the bad lip luck a break.’

but i know she was putting it on because she stopped doing it for a few minutes while she thought no one was looking.

and here’s where it comes back to the who kids/no kids issue:

kids do dumb stuff all the time, and as a parent you just basically have to put up with it and let them figure out for themselves if it defines them or not. but how do you deal with duckface? and not occasional, ruining a family picture here and there kind of duckface, but persistent, long-lasting, wearing through thick and thin duckface? seriously. come on.

’nuff said.

In childfree on February 8, 2012 at 7:12 pm

louis c.k.

shave the what?!

In awkward, childfree, heh, lessons learned on July 3, 2011 at 5:13 am

i’m sure you’ve seen this shave the baby doll around the interwebs. in case you haven’t, here’s a pic:

shave the baby

ok, so dolls are an effective vehicle for learning.

but who designed this hair growth pattern? it’s quite unusual.

but here’s my real concern:

what if i decided to have kids and they came out hairy like this. i don’t mean just an inordinate amount of swarthy hair on their heads. what if they came out fully hairy? perhaps this doll is actually exists to prepare parents for the horrifying inevitable?!

dirty little secrets.

In about me, childfree on June 14, 2011 at 5:37 am

i need to thank psilomelane for introducing me to this one.

dirty little secrets mothers keep. the tagline says it all: the stuff we shouldn’t think, let alone say out loud…

it makes me sad. really, utterly depressed that this is how so much of humanity really feels.

for example:

dirty little secrets mothers keep #23.

I’ve often dream about my “guilt free” hospital stay, once when living with my in-laws I intentionally ate off chicken to try and make myself sick enough to get some time off…. (Mother to two children, 4 and a newborn, Cape Town , South Africa)

this is not healthy for the mothers or children. why, if it’s the best, most rewarding experience of anything we could ever go through, is there such a collective air of depression.

this blog is quite similar to the site, true mom confessions. my sister recently lent me the book by the same name, saying, ‘ this will keep you from changing your mind about things.’ (i just have to think that 2 kids and 8 years later she’s really starting to understand my childfree stance.)

i put off reading it. i wasn’t sure if i wanted to spend an afternoon reading a book so i could come out of it feeling judgmental and superior. after a few days of it sitting on my bedside table i picked the book up and began to read. maybe it could give me some compassion and let me understand what these moms are really feeling.

i finished the book and i felt as depressed as it seems many of these mothers do. i understand the need to share and feel like you’re part of something – that there are other people who feel the same way you do. but this collective experience does not seem to be a positive one.

i’m sorry for the mothers who made choices they’re obviously regretting on a day to day basis. perhaps down the road it will pay off in a big way. i’m sorry that so many women had children because they felt pressured, or it’s just the thing to do, or it happened by accident, or they just never thought there were other ways in which life can be fulfilling.

and this is why i started kids is crap. i know it’s usually offensive, judgmental and cynical. but i really want people to know that there is life outside parenthood. a lot of people have it and it’s ok not to feel guilty or selfish.

walk.

In awkward, childfree, heh on June 4, 2011 at 6:41 pm

i just discovered too big for stroller – the best ever photo blog. thanks to my mom. she told me about it along with a, “sheesh – people without kids always have something to say. as if they know anything about it” speech.

so i just had to see for myself.

i agree with the publisher. these kids just look ridiculous. their feet would be dragging on the floor if not for the footrests on these things. it’s embarrassing.

the blog is mostly photos with the odd video thrown in for good measure. including this gem.

now if only user comments were enabled on the blog. i’ve got a thought or 2 to contribute.

 

since we’re not allowed to use monkeys anymore…

In babies in adult places, childfree on February 19, 2011 at 7:44 am

kids will be sold to the circus

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